If you can’t laugh, what can you do? Take up politics, perhaps…

So Boris Johnson is unhappy with the way the Met is managed? Get in line, Mr Johnson, because I’m sure as hell you’re not the only one who wants to politicise the management of policing.

Boris holding his hair down

Boris checks his hair isn't MIA

As we all know, Boris is the bleeding edge of Mayorship, and his diamond-edged wit and decision-making ability is rivalled only by his hairstyle.  The fact he’s backed banker’s bonuses is a key indicator of where his morals, and perhaps assets, lie.

However, from behind all this bluster, confusion and windswept hair comes a rather worrying comment from our Boris.  Whilst talking about the disjointed nature of the MPA, it seems our Boris wants more political control of the police.

I couldn’t think of anything scarier or more counterproductive.

When I took the oath, I swore allegiance to the Queen, not some randomly-elected, flavour-of-the-moment scrote in a suit whose only interest is fiddling the taxpayer for all they can get whilst swapping houses and allowances like Top Trumps cards in a school playground.

Politicise policing and you’ll end up with the same problem the French have – the police won’t do anything about the farmers/fishermen striking and blocking the ports, causing chaos in the UK thanks to Op Stack, because their commissioner (or préfet or whoever it is – not sure of the exact terminology as my French isn’t that hot!) won’t get re-elected as they’ll have lost the votes of vast numbers of militant onion sellers (the worst kind – militant onions play havoc with your tear ducts when you’re slicing them.)

Note: Unfortunately I couldn’t link to the actual news article that sparked this post as it is in a members-only area of Janes Police Review website.  I have, instead, tried to find other relevant news articles, although they’re a bit older, that get the same message across.


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11 Responses to “If you can’t laugh, what can you do? Take up politics, perhaps…”

  1. Area Trace No Search Says:

    I seem to remember swearing a similar oath.

    I also seem to remember that it was impressed on us over and over that the office of Constable is a non-political appointment and that we were
    unusual in world policing in that we didn’t take orders from politicians and our allegiance was to the crown and country, regardless of any poltitical movement.

    That was obviously pre IPDLPLDIPDLDLPLDLDPD learning though….

    • kkop Says:

      Ippledipple (IPLDP) has a lot to answer for.

      You’re quite right about the non-political nature of the UK police. It’s one of the cornerstones that makes the British police envied by just about every other force in the world.

      That and the fact that we can talk to people without having to point a gun at them first. 😉

  2. inspectorgadget Says:

    The current trend for wanting elected police chiefs will last for as long as it takes for them to realise that:

    1. In places like Bradford East, they will get a fundamentalist Muslim
    2. That person will close down the Domestic & Honour Based Violence teams
    3. We have BNP elected politicians in our Force area; they will stand
    4. They will close down the Hate Crime teams.

    The ONLY reason they want elected police chiefs is so that they can say to the public, when things go ‘bent’; “well folks, it’s nothing to do with us, you elected the chief”.

    • kkop Says:

      Don’t they call that kind of thing ’empowerment’? I’m sure there’s a whole slew of slogans for this sort of thing – ‘power to the people’, ‘putting YOU in control’ and ‘it’s not OUR fault – you voted them in!!’

      Seperate note, IG, but good ole Melvin T tried posting earlier. Welcome to my spam list – population: one. >:)

      • Adam Says:

        Melvin T, eh? Bet that gave you a warm glow of knowing that you’ve officially “arrived” on the blogging scene.

        I was re-reading some of Nightjack’s old blogs the other day, and there were a couple that Melvin actually argued his case reasonably well – not enough to change my opinion, but enough to make me respect his stance. Must have been before he really got on the cillit-bang.

      • kkop Says:

        Thanks Adam, yes, I feel as though I’ve been officially ‘recognised’ as one of the blogging literati now that Mr Gray as tried to grace the comments pages with his presence!!

        When I first found Inspector Gadget’s blog and started reading ‘he-whose-name-shall-not-be-spoken’ (henceforth referred to as ‘Moldywart’) I wasn’t quite sure where he was coming from. Other people have said that his comments are a mish-mash of quotes and sayings that have been badly Googled and strung together to loosley indicate some form of meaning, but I’ve never had the time (or inclination) to check that out.

        I understand his point of view to a degree, and after all, its everyone’s right to question authority and its integrity. What I take umbrage at, however, is the insidious way Moldywart implied that corruption wasn’t just present in the police to some degree, but that EVERY police officer is corrupt.

        Moldwart presents himself as a bit of an anarchist – I would be interested to know what he thinks the cure and ideal solution would be. However, as he seems to suffer from the worst kind of verbal diarrhea going and is completely unable to speak in plain English without inserting thinly-veiled insults behind his pseudo-babble, I doubt that will ever happen.

        Not sure it was Cilit Bang – don’t think he’s progressed much farther than meths…

  3. dungbeetle Says:

    hide the money trail under political bull

  4. Omri Says:

    So, about 260 years ago, the residents of a far out corner of the empire complained that the Crown kept sending them governors who had no local knowledge nor respect for local predicaments. After some stern words, a compromise was established whereby the enforcement of the law was handed to elected officials: county sheriffs, as a check on governors appointed from afar. It helped forestall that unpleasantness between London and Boston for a few decades.

    Of course, that had its own problems, as pointed out in the comments, which is why all corners of the US are patrolled by at least two police agencies, usually three, sometimes four. If one is a little too beholden to local support for corruption, the others move in.

  5. Crime Analyst Says:

    MONDAY, 21 DECEMBER 2009


    Please spare a thought this Christmas for the lads and lasses who will be doing their very best to ensure we all enjoy a safe and peaceful christmas – the police officers who will be working while we enjoy our rest over Christmas. Spare them a kind thought and send them your best wishes. We pray that your shifts pass peacefully and that you are able to enjoy some special festive times with your families and loved ones.

    A special thank you goes out to the unsung heroes of police blogging this year and the years that have gone before. Having worked long, hard challenging shifts, dealing with the worst society can throw at them, they find the time and energy to write their articles, share their experiences, with a great passion for “What’s right” and delivered in the most part, with good humour.

    Thank you to one and all, you know who you are, for all your fine efforts. We look forward to plenty more and perhaps some well deserved reforms for you in 2010.

    With best wishes
    Steve & The Team
    Nice 1 Limited

  6. Adam Says:

    If you don’t think too much about it, you could be fooled into thinking “..well, a person elected locally will surely have a better idea of the needs for that area – what the real problems are, rather than running to a national one-size-fits-all blueprint..”

    If you didn’t think too much about it.

  7. Tony F Says:

    Political police? Well, for sure, the ‘theives of westminster’, could do with some policing…

    Ah, I see…

    Well, if that happens, you can vote for me. I will be honest and state now, I haven’t a clue….

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